Columnists
  • When I'm sick, the first thing the medical profession does is order me out of my bed and into the office where they dress me in a Hefty Bag and put me on a cold table. They give me a copy of CYSTS DIGEST to read while I'm waiting. The doctor arrives and asks, "What seems to be your problem?" I tell him I'm not happy with my life, all my appliances are going, and I need dental work. My hair doesn't shine anymore and I've had to change door keys on my kids three times.
  • Comparing the 2016 presidential candidates' economic plans
  • After the shooting deaths of 49 people in Orlando, Florida, in mid-June, 2016, many funerals were held. One in particular demonstrated that sheets could symbolize the opposite from the KKK's legacy of the lynch.
  • When I walked into the phone store to complain about my cell phone service, I was met with a young man whose name badge read JESUS. No glow, no children running up to him, and none of the 12 devotees gathered around him. Almost immediately, though, my snarl vanished and my gravel voice turned to sweetness and purity. Nobody, but NOBODY, can turn me into a humble servant quite like a man named JESUS.
  • Forms must be postmarked by close of business August 1.
  • As Donald X's Unreality TV Show continues, and as Hillary C's supporters attempt to unite, the media tell us that both have the highest unpopularity ratings ever seen nationally among U.S. voters for president.
  • So often, criticism is levied at politicians for an array of issues, much of it warranted. Sometimes, though, these folks use their office to make powerful statements that reach millions and have the potential to generate real change.
  • Muhammad Ali was a complex man and many will remember him in different ways.
  • What a wonderful country in which we reside that allows us the freedom to speak our minds without fear of imprisonment or physical mutilation. I applaud the fact that we may agree to disagree, and while I appreciate the concern that Dr. Bucher, Jr. expressed in regard to Donald Trump's candidacy as our next potential "Confabulator-in-Chief", (the esteemed professor's words, not mine), I AM amused at his obvious fear that Mr. Trump might, indeed, win the election.
  • In my last op-ed in North Texas e-News (5/31/16), I suggested that Mr. Trump should be called Donald X. The "X" stands for Xenophobe (hater of "the other"). The X also stands for "the greatest unknown quantity" in any US election to date.
  • Yes, I was wrong! I thought Mr. Trump had managed to insult every minority in the USA, and at least one majority (women)!

  • Pregnancies used to be fun. Okay, okay, we carried around a watermelon seed inside of us that grew to the size of a piano. But there were no diet restrictions, we were actually advised to give up exercise, it was all right to drink coffee or alcohol, we could soak up sun on the beach, and people treated us with all the care and vigilance of a homemade time bomb.