Are you a first-born, a middle child, or a caboose?  Scientists have discovered that where you fit in the birth-order makes a difference in your upbringing and personality. I’ll bet you have some stories to illustrate their theories.

First-borns are expected to accept a good deal of responsibility for helping to raise their siblings.  As the eldest of five, I can tell you all about cleaning up some messes. In some families (not mine) it doesn’t end with childhood.

One lady told me she enjoyed bossing her sibs but was shocked to find all of them had named her in their wills as the person to raise their children in case they departed prematurely.

Middle children are often mediators and tend to drift through life.  One of my writers commented on being excluded from the kitchen by her mother and older sisters; when she married, the lack of cooking experience was a problem.  When her older brother suggested they explore the woods one day rather than walk to school, she just went along and suffered her first whipping as a result. 

Last-borns tend to be babied because their parents have let up on their strict rules for behavior.  The most extreme case I’ve heard about was two girls born 18 years apart.  The parents had been very strict during the first one’s childhood but totally reversed course before her sister arrived.  Now the two sisters enjoy discussing the irradically different childhoods.  

The caboose is a “surprise” child born several years after the others.  He or she is apt to grow up in a different world from older sibs.  I was sixteen when my youngest sister was born, and while we are close now, I didn’t really get to know her before going off to college, getting married and having my own children.

Pity the poor “only child”: she never learns to share unless fortunate enough to have cousins that are like siblings.  Payback comes when these folks complain about having no brothers or sisters to help when taking care of their elderly parents.  One of my cousins was an only child and she had only one child.  But that child chose to have four kids within five years.  Seems to me like an over-reaction.

On rare occasions there is the brother or sister you never knew about.  My mother had a stillborn child in between my brother and me.  When I stumbled on his grave in the family cemetery, some gaps in my early childhood were explained by a mother’s grief that I never before knew had even existed. 

There are always exceptions to these general trends in the effects of birth order. If you have stories to share, I’d love to know about them.  Send them to me: jlincecum@me.com.

Jerry Lincecum is a retired English professor who now teaches classes for older adults who want to write their life stories.  He welcomes your reminiscences on any subject.