Today we are taking an overview of some of our human grief (loss) feelings to gain further insight. When we experience a significant loss (or change) most people will experience some or all of the grief stages listed below in an individual and unique manner. The feelings and behaviors below are common, yet unique to each individual.
DENIAL - This can include a disbelief of the loss, like continuing to feel that a deceased spouse is still present in your house.
ANGER - This can result from feeling your loss is unfair, such as when a friend or family member has died and left you in a hurting, lonely situation.
BARGAINING - Unrealistic as others may tell us, we may desperately want to work out some trade or bargain to try to "undo" our loss.
DEPRESSION/GUILT - This type of depression has been called "anger turned inward." At this stage we may feel totally helpless or even guilty after experiencing some of the stages above, and see no way out of our dilemma.
ACCEPTANCE/HOPE - Once we can comprehend that our loss is permanent, we may finally find ways to cope with this reality and begin to continue on with our own life.
Even though the word 'stages' may give the impression that grief is or should be experienced in an orderly fashion, nothing is further from the truth. All 'stages' can be experienced in a short time. And stages can resurface repeatedly as the result of a comment by others or many other triggering circumstances. Some people recover from losses slowly, some never do recover, and others find the strength to move on rather quickly. Most people can benefit from participation in a "grief group" that prevents isolation and promotes sharing of what you are feeling with others that are experiencing similar feelings. Examples of human loss include death of a loved one, loss of a job, onset of mental illness, and divorce.
Today we want to use this overview to gain insight on what
it might mean to “grieve the Holy Spirit.” The Spirit focuses attention on God the Son, Jesus. If we deny Jesus (show more concern over what peers think of us than in taking an opportunity to publicly affirm our loyalty to Him), He is grieved. We also grieve God by turning our back on Him and His ways in disobedience and in spurning the love and forgiveness He has demonstrated to us through Christ.
How would you like to present your friend with your very best gift, only to have him ignore it, refuse it, or throw it away as he pursued someone else’s gift? Anything that we substitute and put in place of God like job, fame, or family is an idol and very grievous to God. With our gift of choice, He wants us to choose Him for our own good. But He never forces Himself on anyone. But when we choose to go our own way apart from Him to our own destruction, His tender, compassionate heart is grieved. For example we see Jesus weeping over Jerusalem because they were choosing judgment instead of His redemption, forgiveness and love. Can you sense God’s grief over many of the people and their choices in the world today?
