I dreaded the New Year’s Eve party this year because I haven’t stayed up until midnight in ages. I figured that guests would be expected to last until the ball dropped, like sitting at a ballgame until the final buzzer sounds. It’s not that I’m not awake at midnight from time to time. I am, because I usually glance at the clock on the way to the bathroom.
The home in Western décor, belonging to Rodeo Kate and “Hoot” Al, was full of vittles, guitars, party hats, and pickin’ and grinnin’ cowboys. I recognized very few people, so I filled a plate with dips, chips, Christmas fudge, and arthritic chicken wings before parking myself on a rustic, yet comfortable, Longhorn bench to listen to the Texas Trailhands band. “Hoot” Al, a 6th generation Texan and a “tall drink of water,” sang an original tongue-in-cheek “blues” song while playing his guitar.
I’ve got the Browns, the Carhartt Browns
Not the blues or the greens or the reds
Just the Browns; I’ve got the Browns
It’s too cold to go to town
I’ve got the knuckle-bleedin’, calf-feedin’ Carhartt Browns
Mama’s in the kitchen mixin’ up the medicine
That goofy danged ole heifer tore her bag again
I git ‘er in the first stall
shoot ‘er with some Benzinol
And bottle-feed ‘er calf ‘til my head starts to spin
The mares in the round pen are chewin’ off their ears again
That gelding just decided he could shoot the moon
The mornin’ ain’t half over yet
It’s the third time I’ve called the vet
It might be cheaper if I built him a room
I’ve got the Browns, those Carhartt Browns
Not the blues or the greens or the reds
Just the Browns; I’ve got the Browns
It’s too cold to go to town
I’ve got the knuckle-bleedin’, calf-feedin’,
cold as a witch, son of a Carhartt Brown
I’ve got the Browns, the Carhartt Browns
The next thing I knew, Hoot and Kate were passing out party hats, confetti, and whistles in preparation for the countdown. It was only 7:00! “Ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-two-one. Happy New Year!” We were ringing in the New Year with the Canary Islands! One young couple and their newborn left.
It happened again at 8:00. We threw confetti, donned our hats, kissed our neighbors and counted down again. We rang in the New Year with Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I saw one wheelchair and two people leave. I was beginning to catch on---We could leave whenever we wanted.
Sure enough, 9:00 was no different. Kate and Hoot invited the crowd to ring in the New Year with Pituffik, Greenland. At 10:00 (I was enjoying the novelty of it all and couldn’t leave), we blew our party whistles and popped our noise makers for Nova Scotia. The crowd was getting thinner, and all of the children and elderly (okay, over 80) had already left.
When “Hoot” Al announced at 11:00 that we would have the countdown for Flushing, New York, I saw one cowgirl whisper into Rodeo Kate’s ear. Kate laughed and pointed down the hall, saying, “It’s the second door on the right.” Hearing the name of the city must have triggered her. After the countdown, kissing, and confetti throwing were over, every walker, cane, and geriatric appliance were gone.
I left before midnight . . . because I could. It felt great. I don’t know if many were left for Central Time Zone at 12:00, but Hoot announced earlier, “Should you wish to celebrate the New Year here with El Paso, please throw the confetti quietly and turn the light out when you leave.”
“If you want to ring in the New Year with Honolulu, you’ll need to set up escrow on this house.”
cindybaker@cableone.net
