Cheating is an anti-social problem that children often exhibit as a result of unusual pressures for achievement. The child may feel the need to cheat to please the high expectations of his parents, teachers and/or society. The child who cheats often is highly motivated to achieve but may not have the intellectual capacity. Children who are unable to meet expectations often rely on cheating to avoid facing defeat or humiliation. Feelings of inferiority may result and must be dealt with by parents and teachers to prevent a child's low self-esteem.

Parents need to address the problem with understanding. Here are some tips:

• Don't compare children. Show love and admiration for each child's individual abilities rather than comparing achievements.

• Make sure your expectations are realistic.

• Family stress may be a cause. Family problems can create feelings of inferiority or prevent him from achieving so that he relies on cheating to get ahead.

• Work closely with teachers. Discuss the pressures the child may be facing. Develop a plan to include a variety of solutions to help the child in the classroom or reduce the opportunity for cheating. The teacher can suggest a tutor if the child needs one.

• Reward non-cheating behavior to build the child's self-confidence and self-esteem.

When you learn from teachers that your child has been fighting excessively at school, it is important to identify the reason for the child's need to fight. It may be his method of showing masculinity or she may be striving for some identity with her classmates. Children often fight to compensate for real or imagined feelings of inferiority. If a child is lonely and wishes to get attention or make new friends, he may rely on fighting to make the other children notice him.

Solutions for the problem depend on the emotional tone of the school setting and the neighbor hood where the child lives. If fighting and aggressive behavior are accepted, changing the child's behavior will be difficult. If aggressive behavior is not tolerated, more positive reinforcement can be offered through his environment.

Teachers of children who fight might want to try some of these suggestions:

Reward good behavior to help the child reduce his fighting.

Have a cooling off room for the children to wait out their temper tantrums and reduce their anger.

Seat the aggressive child in front, to allow you to keep an eye on his actions.

Reward good behavior to help the child reduce his fighting. Allow the child to sit by his friends or to take on added responsibility when he behaves in an acceptable manner.

At home, parents may want to try these approaches:

• Use role-playing. Together, parent and child can act out the situations that occur when a child gets into a fight at school. Listen and observe the child's responses to understand her situation and feelings. Working together, parent and child can practice releasing anger and controlling the child's temper.

• Encourage other outlets for the aggressiveness such as sports or other activities that require contact or aggressive action as a more acceptable release of energy.

• Reward positive and acceptable behavior. However, in some cases, taking away television privileges or outside activities until the child reduces his fighting may be needed.

• Offer encouragement and acceptance of the child to build his self-confidence. As he begins to be more secure, his self-concept improves. When he likes himself, he no longer needs to use fighting to redeem his inferiority or to gain attention from others.

Teachers and parents who work together to find solutions for the child's problems at school have more satisfactory results. If however, attempts have been made and no results obtained, the child and family should seek professional advice from a professional therapist.

It is easy to identify children's needs such as nutritious food, warm clothes, adequate shelter and sleep, but a child's emotional needs may be less obvious. Here are some basics for a child's good mental health:

• Love and encouragement

• Safe and secure surroundings

• An opportunity to develop talents and abilities

• Play time with other children

• Appropriate guidance and discipline

• Professional help, when needed

This information is provided by Mental Health Mental Retardation Services of Texoma. MHMRST provides services for children and adolescents ages 3 to 17 who are experiencing mental health problems and are residents of Grayson, Cooke, and Fannin counties. Eligibility is based on priority population as defined by Texas Health and Human Services Commission. Priority population includes children and adolescents with severe emotional behavioral or mental disorders including a single diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder, substance abuse, autism or mental retardation and at least one of the following:

• Functional impairment score (GAF) of 50 or less either currently or in the past year.

• At risk of removal from the home or referred living situation.

• Identified as emotionally disturbed in special education.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month across the nation. MHMRST wants to encourage persons who are experiencing problems with mental health issues to give them a call at 903-957-4701 for help. The number for children services is 903-957-4820. A crisis hotline is available 24 hours a day for anyone experiencing a mental health crisis at 1-877-277-2226.