Lanny Joe and I recently spent the day with the grand kids at Ft. Worth’s Children’s Museum. It was the Grossology exhibit that kept us entertained (we’re so easily amused). Based on the best-selling book Grossology by Sylvia Branzei, sophisticated animatronics and imaginative exhibits told us the good, the bad and the downright ugly about runny noses, body odor, and weird secretions.
Branzei, an author and former junior high science teacher, was quoted in USA Today: “The teacher has grossing kids out down to a science. Kids love gross things. If I can teach them science using gross things, then I’ll have all these kids who want to learn science.”
Before you leave my column and search for more appetizing articles, at least read what Publishers Weekly said: “Grossology started the icky avalanche in the publishing world…bringing toe jam and ear wax to the clamoring masses.”
The impolite science of the human body had us exploring the oozy, crusty, scaly and stinky gunk that we deal with every day. Most of the time, we don’t find our own smells, scabs, and oozes too disgusting. It is usually the same stuff on someone else’s body that’s really gross. But the reasons for the ickiness are identical whether it’s us, our Aunt Lula, or the meter reader.
We didn’t miss a station: Yu Stink, Urine The Game, Nigel Nose-It All, Burp Man, Toot Toot!, Vomit Center, and Skin Climbing Wall. I should mention that Lanny was first in line for every hands-on display. We took a “Tour du Nose” and explored 10 nasal features, including how our snoot acts as an air filter, a smell sensor and mucus producer. The three little Bakers stood inside a giant nostril and let the sneeze saturate their clothes. The kids mimicked the build-up of acid indigestion by causing the “Burp Machine” to release a giant belch. They explored the role of the kidney in a virtual reality experience. And, they climbed a large-scale replica of the human skin and discovered other mysterious ways our body’s biology does what it needs to do to keep us healthy. Finally, they composed their own rhythmic flatulence at the animatronics table. It made Lanny and me really proud.
Who knew I could get a recipe in the Grossology exhibit? Listen up---To make a fake wound, use a toothpick to mix 3-4 drops of red food coloring into a dollop of Vaseline. Stir in a pinch of cocoa to darken the red color to a deeper, blood-like tint. Separate a tissue into one layer. Tear out a small 3x2-inch rectangle. Place the tissue at the wound site and cover it with the Vaseline mixture. Mold the tissue into a wound shape, with the edges raised higher than the center. Add some Vaseline to the center of the wound. Sprinkle cocoa at the edges to darken it. Add cocoa to the wound center if a scabby (as opposed to fresh) appearance is desired. Voila!
We skipped lunch.