After thirty-three years of marriage, John and Jane (not their real names) seem to be happy and made for each other. In her late teens and his early twenties, they began dating and fell in love, but they were pulled apart by his disapproving family members. John grew up in a church-going family, and Jane’s family was called a “rough, unchurched, drinking” family by John’s relatives.
Jane’s father was physically and mentally abusive to her mother and also to her. He met with a violent death when she was eleven, and her mother married another man just a few days after her father’s funeral. Her new step-father was abusive to her mother and both of them drank too much. Jane believes her mother suffered from battered woman syndrome, and her biological father had a mental illness.
Jane’s childhood was not very happy because she lived in fear of her father. She was not accepted at school and the other kids would make fun of her and called her “bar trash” and other uncomplimentary names. She quit school in the seventh grade and went to work at various jobs including waitressing in eating establishments and bars and car-hopping, etc. Through the years, she used street drugs and alcohol. In later years, she would become addicted to prescription drugs. At twenty years of age after her romance with John had ended, she married a military man who was stationed in Germany. She knew she did not love him, but her father and step-father had both been in the military and that was the life she knew and wanted to continue. She was also desperate to escape her home situation.
She describes herself as abusive and aggressive to her first husband. She gave birth to twin girls while in Germany and also experienced a psychotic break. She was diagnosed with a mental illness and has had many different diagnoses through the years. Her final diagnosis is bi-polar disorder, and she receives treatment and medication that keeps her stable.
John, too, had a hard time in his childhood. His father was killed in an auto accident when he was young. He was brokenhearted from the loss of his father. He confesses to having a lot of anger and depression as a kid. After his father’s death, he had an unstable home life. His mother was raised in an orphanage and did not have a motherly example to follow, but she did the best she could. He moved from town to town and from school to school. . His mother remarried.
He suffered from two head injuries growing up. In the first grade, he hit a tree with his forehead during a bicycle accident. The other accident was to the back of his head and caused a concussion. He seemed to have problems in school after these head injuries. Classmates would bully him because of his inability to learn, and his mother would fly into a rage whipping him when he brought home a bad report card. He feels he was promoted in school because he was a good football player and graduated without learning to read well. After graduation, he went to work in the oil field, later in a meat packing plant, and then as a city employee.
Although he was always in love with Jane, he married three times before reconnecting with her. After he and Jane married, he adopted her twin daughters as his own and became the father he always wanted to be. He always held a good job and provided the family with all they needed until he became disabled.
After becoming disabled, he struggled with severe depression that made him seek professional mental health treatment. He felt like he had lost everything when he lost his ability to work. A caseworker at Texoma Community Center (formerly Mental Health Mental Retardation Services of Texoma) helped him improve his reading level from 3rd grade to high school level. He is now on medication for his depression and therapy that has helped him gain back his life. He also adds that he has gotten back into church. His caseworker has helped him see that he does not need to dwell in the past. Texoma Community Center and the services that have been offered to John and Jane have made a difference in their lives.
Help is available in Cooke, Fannin, and Grayson counties through Texoma Community Center. Services have been provided in since 1974. For 24-hour crisis services, call 1-877-277-2226. Mental health centers are located in each county: Cooke Mental Health Center, 319 West Dixon, Gainesville, 940-665-3962; Fannin Mental Health Center, 1221 East 6th Street, Bonham, 903-583-8583; Grayson Mental Health Center, 315 West McLain, Sherman, 903-957-4701; Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, 315 West McLain, Sherman, 903-357-4820.