Columnists
Boo!
By Lillian Gonnell
Nov 1, 2009

Understanding the Halloween frenzy becomes harder and harder each year.

Although the origins of the holiday are clear - Druid festival of the dead merges with Roman festival of the dead, then the Catholics claim all. And the original intent is clear - honoring ancestors and role models. What is not immediately clear is why Halloween is evolving more each year into such a macabre party-rock gore-fest.

This might be an example of children behaving better than adults. The youngest among us, reserved and sedate, are happy just to be out past bedtime dressed like Spiderman.

The adults, on the other hand, have gleefully bounced to the brink to find bizarre ways to celebrate the eve of All Saint's Day. For instance, take the romance with vampires. How did the unholy undead become a lead character in a celebration to remember the holy dead?

Maybe we have a growing need to create fake monsters because there are so many real ones.

The halcyon days of Halloween had to have been the early 60’s. These were the Golden Years of Trick or Treating - full of innocent fun sustained by genuine, widespread, mind numbing naiveté. A wooden school desk served as the ultimate protection against Russian nuclear missiles. These were the days the unconscionable was still the inconceivable. Parents didn’t poison their children’s trick or treat candy in order to get a quick cash death settlement.

There was no confusion about what day to celebration Halloween, either. Everyone knew for certain what night the trick or treaters were going to be ringing doorbells. If Halloween falls on a school night today, who knows if the goblins will be roaming? Better have the candy bowl at the door for the whole week.

Halloween used to be so simple. No heated debates about saints or devil worship, tradition or religion. No one asked “why?” The night was all about trick or treating and moral decisions were few.

The issues that did come up were easily answered or just out-grown. Like costumes. Girls were princesses, ballerinas, fairy princesses, Cinderella, princesses. Anything that involved a tiara. Sure there was the occasional maverick witch, but she was wartless. And wore a tiara.

Boys were ghosts, pirates, cowboys, and Superman. The hobo, a popular grimy get-up with the boys, is now lost to time. It morphed into The Homeless and therefore became The Invisible.

There was some candy-angst. Would you get any candy if Mom makes you wear a coat over your costume? Did the kids who get to stay out past 7:30 get better candy? Is it proper to avoid the apple and popcorn ball houses and head straight for the chocolate and bubble gum houses? Can you be nabbed for changing costumes and sneaking back to the “good candy” house for seconds?

There was the cool vs. safe debate. How far behind can you make Dad walk and still be safe? And later when you were a teenager, how fast can you safely run your little brother through the neighborhood so you can be done with kid-watch duties.

When begging for candy ceased to be cool, you concentrated on the ‘trick.' This usually happened the year after you added the “smell my feet” line to the conventional greeting. You shunned the costume entirely, unless it was something easy to run in while conveniently hiding 5 rolls of toilet paper.

Halloween was all about trick or treating, but not about the candy. Mom didn’t let you eat all that candy anyway. Trick or treating was about independence and the illusion of running wild.

Halloween now seems to be about scaring and being scared. Which doesn’t really make sense for an American holiday because we Americans don't scare easily. After all, we're the people who put fins on automobiles and invented blind dates.

And why do people pretend to be afraid of the dead? The dead can be very helpful, especially in elections.

For your big fright this year, consider one of these:

• Platform shoes are back in style

• A letter from the IRS

• The Hershey’s chocolate company is up for sale

• Gravity

• The only local doctor on your HMO was the little kid down the street who used to eat his shoelaces