Anyone who has ever read the comic strip “Dilbert” knows that he’s on a constant journey to find true happiness in the work place.  Unfortunately, he rarely does.

Perhaps, thought Dilbert’s creator Scott Adams, Dilbert can find happiness at home — if he only had one.  What kind of home would the eight-to-five, cubicle-dwelling Dilbert call the “ultimate” house?

Adams asked Dilbert readers to provide ideas for “Dilbert’s Ultimate House” or DUH for short.  More than 3,000 responded with ideas ranging from the innovative to the absurd. Adams took the most forward-thinking, useful and out-of-the-box ideas to engineers and architects of Heartwood Studios in California. PG&E provided tips on energy efficiency.

“Dilbert is single and needs all the help he can get,” said Adams. “He’d design his house to be wife bait. We wanted him to have a house so impressive that some woman would overlook his personality just to live in it.”

DUH has 6,000 square feet, 3,000 square feet of which are below ground. It has a three-car garage, rounded doorways and lots of outdoor areas. There’s no formal living or dining rooms nor is there a large foyer. There are no “museum” rooms intended just for show.

The house is one tech geeks, the environmentally conscious, convenience fanatics and plain old lovers of peace and quiet can enjoy. Packed with energy- and water-saving elements, the home is easy to maintain. From Dilbert’s own watchtower to a room solely for cat litter, DUH is a sanctuary containing both funny and practical uses of space.

For example, DUH has a Christmas tree storage closet where the fake tree stays decorated all year to be rolled out on wheels for the holiday season.  Dilbert’s “great room” is his relaxation  area with a two-sided fireplace.  This is where Dilbert brings the Christmas tree each year and  plugs it into a special floor outlet installed expressly for that purpose.

The quiet room is a soundproof space with a window to the kitchen. Dilbert figures that when he has kids, the quiet room will be a great place for them to be seen but not heard. The quiet room doubles as a music room when little Dilbert decides to learn to play the drums.

Dilbert’s master bathroom has separate his and her baths. Dilbert’s has a urinal because it’s more water efficient than a conventional toilet.  His bath has no tub, just a shower. The mirror is warmed by water pipes so it never steams up.  Dilbert has his own closet so it will be harder for the future Mrs. Dilbert to crowd him out with her stuff.

Mrs. Dilbert’s bath has an impressive vanity and showcase bath area. Her bathtub has a television and dimmable lights.  Her closet is huge with a sitting bench and island for folding clothes or staging outfits.

DUH has an exercise space that’s small but opens to the great room so Dilbert can watch the flat screen TV or enjoy the sound system while huffing and puffing. It’s also near the kitchen so he and the future Mrs. Dilbert can get a quick aerobic burn while waiting for the cupcakes to bake.

There are two dishwashers — one for clean dishes, one for dirty. This eliminates unnecessary loading and unloading dishes to cupboards.  Dilbert’s dining table is actually a pool table in disguise.  Remove the specially designed top to reveal the felt.

DUH has a cat room. Dilbert anticipated a future pet cat and built a room to keep all the ugly pet-related stuff out of sight. The cat box is raised to waist level so it’s easier to clean. The cat has its own little stairs to get to it.

A workshop is usually found in the garage with the old paint and the husband. Not in DUH. Dilbert cleverly designed and built his house before getting married, so his workshop is inside the air conditioned space, adjacent to his home office. He calls this the “manly” wing of the house.

An observatory is shaped like Dilbert’s head. The shape has no practical purpose, but the room houses the telescope and outdoor furniture.

The basketball court is at basement level. Dilbert and the kids can play in any weather without worrying about being hit by cars or annoying the neighbors. One sidewall doubles as a practice backboard for tennis, racquetball and squash.

There’s a home theater in the basement, too. Why there? Because it needs no windows. The entrance looks like a movie theater doorway, and the electronic marquee has “Now Showing” information Dilbert updates from his home computer. Inside, a ceiling-mounted projector illuminates a large screen.  There’s even an elevator for when he gets too old to use the stairs or seriously injures himself playing a game of horse.

There’s lots more to Dilbert’s Ultimate House. To see it all, go to http://www.dilbert.com/ and take the virtual tour.