Crow's-Feet Chronicles: It's a country thang
By Cindy Baker Burnett
Apr 21, 2014
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Even if you don’t particularly enjoy country music, you’ve got to admit some of the titles, lyrics and thoughts are wonderfully poetic. 

Remember these titles?  “My Wife Just Ran Off with My Best Friend, and I Miss Him.” 

“I Gave Her a Ring and She Gave Me a Finger.” 

“We Used to Kiss on the Lips, But It’s All Over Now.” 

“You’re Scarin’ Me and You’re Spookin’ My Horse.” 

“Every Man Must Leave His Footprints in the Shifting Sands of Time, But I’ll Just Leave the Mark of a Heel.” 

“How Come My Dog Don’t Bark When You Come Around?” 

“I’ve Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Back Crying All Night Over You."

And these equally impressive lyrics:  “If your phone don’t ring, it’s me.”   

“Ain’t only one thing in this ol’ world worth a solitary dime, and that’s old dogs, and children, and watermelon wine.” 

“If you’re waitin’ on me, you’re backin’ up.” 

“Has anybody here seen my sweet thang?” 

“The work we did, it was hard, but we slept at night ‘cause we was tard.”  (That may be a paraphrase, but it’s close enough---from Loretta Lynn’s “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”) 

Country music can be used in real-life situations.  A few years ago a co-worker was telling me about how, when he asked his wife for a divorce, she refused and demanded they go to a marriage counselor. 

At the last session with the counselor, the counselor asked my friend’s wife “Is there any song that really sums up your feelings for your husband?” 

She responded, “Each time I hear Johnny Mathis sing ‘Until the Twelfth of Never,’ I think of him.” 

“And what about you?” the counselor asked my friend.  “Is there any particular song that sums up your feelings for your wife?” 

“Absolutely,” he replied.  “Roy Clark’s immortal ‘Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone.’” 

My co-worker friend got his divorce. 

George Jones was on the country/western song trail for decades.  He was a notorious drinker, too.  On one occasion his former wife, country singer Tammy Wynette, left their Nashville home to go on tour.  She had all the liquor removed from the house and left George with no car.  No problem for George.  He was last seen heading to the nearest bar, driving the couple’s lawn mower.   

Despite his drinking problems, George Jones was recognized by many as the best country singer ever.  His voice had the same tone as a steel guitar when he sang of love---lost and found. 

And this one stands out:   

Last night I broke the seal on a Jim Beam decanter
That looks like Elvis
I soaked the label off a Flintstone Jelly Bean jar
I cleared us off a place on that
One little table that you left us
And pulled me up a big ole piece of floor.

I pulled the head off Elvis
Filled Fred up to his pelvis
Yabba Dabba Doo, the King is gone
And so are you.