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Crow's-Feet Chronicles: Lucy holds the political pigskin
By Cindy Baker Burnett
Feb 9, 2014
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This time last week we were marrying Velveeta cheese with Rotel.  Peyton Manning was expected to yell “Omaha!” for four quarters, since he yelled it 31 times in the AFC title game.  Sadly, the Super Bowl game was “untingling” for the average football fan and disheartening for the Broncos.  Manning yelled “Omaha!” twice.  TWICE. 

The Omaha Chamber of Commerce, together with 15 other companies, went out on a limb when they pledged $1,500 to charity for every time Peyton Manning yelled “Omaha!” during the Super Bowl.  I’m sure the $3,000 donation was appreciated, but the Chamber should have kicked in another $1,500 for the Seahawks being able to shove the Broncos INTO Omaha. 

Maybe next year’s Super Bowl gridiron match could take a political turn.  During the 2015 Super Bowl, a Conservative quarterback could yell “Benghazi!” or the Liberal could yell “Bridge!”  As if we haven’t heard enough of these two topics.  Kind of like Fast and Furious, huh. 

Hillary proved that she was watching this year’s Super Bowl, though, when she tweeted, “It’s so much more fun to watch FOX when it’s someone else being blitzed and sacked!”  This isn’t the last Super Bowl before Election 2016, and the only way the dust of “Bridgegate” and “Benghazi & Gomorrah” will settle is if neither Hillary nor Christie gets the party’s nomination.  I’m not sure Hillary and Christie would enjoy being neck and neck, since the stand-by-your-man baby boomer is long in the tooth and the class president-turned-Garden State governor is long in the belt.   

Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Fallon rewrote and sang “Born to Run” in a joke about the misery of getting stuck on the George Washington Bridge with a painfully full bladder.  The song poked fun at the indignities of being wedged in stalled traffic as “blue-collar peons” and the satire was received in the light-hearted manner in which it was intended . . . albeit twisted.  Oh, to be praised for spotlighting the topic of the day with tongue-in-cheek humor! 

It’s all in the spirit of late-night comedy, right?  The laughter was deep and hearty when Amy Poehler impersonated Hillary Clinton on Saturday Night Live.  And Amy got away with it.  How?  By inviting Hillary to appear on SNL alongside her, wearing an identical outfit and donning the same hairstyle! 

In two years, Super Bowl 2016 could replace the coin-fumbling Joe Namath with an invitational kick-off.  Think about it.  The two Presidential candidates could set Super Bowl in motion, much like if two celebrities threw the first two pitches in a baseball game.  It could parallel the Peanuts comic strip and have Lucy (Sarah Palin) holding the football a second time for Charlie Brown (Chris Christie) to kick, after yanking it away from Linus (Hillary) and saying, “Don’t worry.  This time you can really trust me.” 

Do you think it would work?  Me neither. 

cindybaker@cableone.net